I Belong With You
by twilightladies
Summary: In those moments, I realize it's over. Planning to follow you to the same college is not an option. I can't be near you and watch you love another. With one last glance at my past, I turn and go back the way I came. I don't see you turning around or the smile that falls from your face when you see me.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my new story!**

**This is something different for me, and I really hope you like it. **

**I was going to wait until complete before I started posting, but I'm just too impatient. I am seventeen chapters in, so I should still be able to stick to a schedule of posting once a week. **

**Huge thanks to Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, CruizFanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580 for their support, pre-reading, and beta'ing skills. This fic would be a mess without them.**

**Chapter 1**

The sun sets low in the sky, bringing a welcomed chill with it. Waves crash quietly as the tide creeps in, and I move back slightly to stay out of the water's way. Normally, the cool water would be enjoyable on a humid day, but as summer draws to an end, it's too cold for my liking.

A light breeze ruffles my hair, and I wrap my arms around my waist, knowing I should head back inside but wanting to stay here as long as possible.

I put my sweater on the sand and sit down, inhaling deeply and smiling as the smell of the beach invades my senses. I try to commit as much of it as possible to memory, not knowing when I'll next be back. Tomorrow, I'll be Chicago-bound, swapping my flip-flops for snow boots.

The thought doesn't sadden me like it used to, and I smile at the nervous butterflies that take up residence in my stomach. This will be a good thing for me.

I lie back and enjoy the peace and quiet, not caring that I have sand on my back and, most likely, in my hair. While the beach was certainly busier earlier on, most people have left for the day. Instead of doing the same, where I know I'll be expected to enjoy a last meal with my family before I move, I think back over the previous twelve months of my life.

My last year of school wasn't the carefree time I was told it would be. While it started off great - there were parties, kisses, and falling in love - there was also embarrassment, rumors, and heartbreak; all of which are reasons I'll be happy to leave this place.

Whispers and giggles interrupt my silence a short time later. The sky is darker, the only illumination coming from the porch lights of the houses that sit on the beach front.

A deep voice echoes through the dunes, followed by more of the same flirty, light giggles from his companion.

My stomach drops, dread settling in its depths. Silent tears fall down my cheeks. I don't wipe them away.

I recognize that giggle and the deep voice that is the cause of it.

I quickly stand, wiping any sand from wherever I can reach, and follow the sound of the happy couple.

I should turn back. I should walk in the opposite direction and pretend I didn't hear them.

I stop dead in my tracks when I see them. They sit farther down the beach. Their bodies are angled toward each other as the girl laughs at something the handsome boy says.

She's beautiful.

Her blonde hair blows in the low wind, the tips tickling him and making him laugh, her shoulders tan from the glorious weather we've had this summer.

I'd listened to the rumors, but I didn't believe them. I knew he was coming home, but I didn't think he'd bring anyone. And I didn't believe he would bring her _here_.

This was our spot. And now it's tainted.

He smiles at her — a huge grin — and even from here, I can tell it's full of love. My heart shatters. That smile used to be for me. I hate that it's now hers.

In those moments, I realize it really is over.

With one last glance at my past, I turn and go back the way I came.

_**Welcome to my new fic! For those of you who read **_**Cocktails**_**, this will be very different. A little angst at the start and, hopefully, a lot of swoon. I hope you all like! **_

_**Fic Rec:**_Rise_ by Rochelle Allison - Bella is a bad boy's girl, living a life she no longer wants. She's trapped, until one of the things that keeps her confined - her bodyguard - becomes the very thing that could set her free._


	2. Chapter 2

**Huge thanks to Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Mariahajile & Marly580 for their support, pre-reading, and beta'ing skills. This fic would be a mess without them.**

**Completely blown away by the response to the first chapter! Thank you all so much! I know we don't know much now, but stick with me, yeah? Those who have ready my other stuff know how much I like a happy ending. **

**Chapter 2**

_**Jacksonville**_

"_Have you seen the new guy yet? I heard he's super cute!"_

_I roll my eyes. "Of course you did. You think that every guy initially is super cute."_

_She shrugs. "You say that like it's a bad thing!"_

_I giggle as she looks around the hallway, as if the new guy is going to magically appear. _

"_See you at lunch?"_

"_You know it." She blows me a kiss and heads off to her Spanish class as I turn into my room for English. _

_Some of the class have already arrived and are playing around until the teacher arrives. I avoid them, knowing they'll get into trouble, and make my way to my seat. _

_I frown when I see a stranger sitting in my usual spot. "You're in my seat."_

_I blush under his intense gaze while he looks at me but doesn't say anything. I clear my throat and shift in my spot, hoping he'll take the hint and move. English is my favorite class, and I don't want a partner. _

"_I'm sure there's room for two, no?"_

_I look to the table. There is, but that's not the point._

"_Isabella, take your seat, please." The teacher strolls into class, effectively cutting off my argument. _

_Reluctantly, I take my seat, ignoring the smug look on the stranger's face. _

"_Okay, class. Today we'll be continuing our work on Edgar Allan Poe. Now, we started his poem, _The Raven_, the other day, and I was impressed with the debate it caused. So now, we're going to pair up and write a small essay on it." Groans fill the classroom, mine being one of them. The teacher shushes us and then continues. "I'm going to be quite flexible and let you pick what you write about this. What's the author telling us? How does it make you feel? As long as it's heartfelt and you prove your point, you should be fine."_

_I make notes, ignoring my neighbor as he continues to stare at me. It's then the teacher utters the words that are certain to change my high school years. "Now, look to the person sitting next to you. That's your partner for the rest of the year."_

_I glance to my left. _

_He grins. "Hey, partner."_

**Chicago**

I breathe a huge sigh of relief as my plane touches down in Chicago. While I've always loved everything about Florida, I've never been so happy to see the back of it. The heat I once adored now feels stifling, almost suffocating. And the more distance between myself and Jacksonville right now, the better.

I sigh, thinking back to last night. People move around me, packing up their stuff as I remember how it felt to see them together. That place on the beach was our spot. He took me there on our first date and again to tell me he loved me. I adored everything about that, and he's tainted it.

Watching them laughing and joking as if nothing had ever happened brought back everything I'd spent the last few months trying to forget. My heart, which had been healing nicely, was left with gaping wounds once again.

I thought I was past this, past him.

Now, as I face a new chapter of my life in Chicago, I feel more determined than ever to put him behind me.

As the plane begins to empty, I grab my things and follow the crowd to the baggage claim. I wait patiently, sending a text to my mom to let her know that I've landed safely.

Thankfully, baggage claim doesn't take too long. My suitcase comes through quicker than I expected, and I grab it before getting a cab to take me to what is going to be my home for the next school year.

Nerves take over as we pull up outside the halls. It's a flurry of activity as new students move in their things, mothers freak out at leaving their children behind, and older students watch with an air of arrogance around them.

I thank the driver and head toward the main reception to get the keys. I join the end of a long line and fight my nerves as I wait my turn.

"Next."

I pull my suitcase forward and smile nervously at the brunette behind the desk.

"Name."

"Bella Swan."

She looks down her list before looking back to me. "I have an Isabella Swan."

I roll my eyes at my mother's use of my full name when she completed my forms. "Yep. That's me."

"Right. Your room is on the third floor. Go down the hall and take the stairs at the end of the hallway. Your room is 323, and your new best friend is… Mary Brandon."

"Okay…" I say hesitantly, taking the keys and welcome pack from her.

"Anything else?"

I shake my head. "Um… no." I smile. "Thanks."

For the first time she returns my smile. "Word of advice, honey. Don't look so nervous. They'll eat you right up."

I chuckle nervously. "Yeah, thanks." _Like it's that easy. _

Finding my dorm room is easy. Avoiding the mass of bodies as I drag my case down the corridor is not. But I make it.

I stand in front of the door and eye it nervously. I have absolutely no idea who is behind the door, and that scares the absolute shit out of me.

But this is why I'm here. My plans to attend school in Miami fell through the second I found out about _them. _Why would I waste my time with friends like that? No, deciding to come here was the best decision I've made, and I've decided to make every minute count.

With a deep breath, I knock on the door, open it, and step into my new home.

_**Thank you for reading. I would love to know your thoughts.**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**The Best I Ever Had**_** (one of my all-time faves) by WhatsMyNomDePlume. **__Sex between friends complicates everything. Bella knows this. But she has no idea how much more Edward is going to complicate things_


	3. Chapter 3

***Hugs* Thank you guys! I've not had the best week, and the fact that my inbox has not stopped all week has made me smile so much - your support means a lot to me!**

**This fic would be nothing without the support of Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Mariahajile & Marly580. Thank you all for stopping me when I want to delete, and for stomping out my Britishisms. **

**Chapter 3**

_**Jacksonville **_

"_You like him!"_

_I scoff, glancing away from my best friend. "No, I don't."_

"_Bella, you can't even look me in the eye. You like him. Just admit it!"_

_I flop back onto the couch, covering my eyes with a groan. "He's not awful, okay?"_

_I feel the seat sink next to me, and she pulls my hands away from my eyes. "It's okay to like him, you know."_

"_I said he wasn't awful. Not that I 'liked him' liked him."_

"_You don't have to say anything, Bella Swan. It's written all over your face."_

_She grins, squeaking and ducking as I throw a cushion at her. "Smartass."_

**Chicago**

The room is smaller than I thought it would be, but then again, I didn't really know what to expect.

There's a living area with a small sofa and single seat to the side. We have one unit that's currently sitting empty, but I assume it will play home to a TV. There's a small coffee table in the center of the room with four coasters and one empty coffee mug on it.

"Hello?"

I hear movement from the room on the right and turn to see a small brunette walking toward me. She looks as nervous as I feel, and this somewhat reassures me.

"You're Isabella?"

I nod and shrug my bag off. I close the door to the dorm behind me and step further into the room. "You're Mary?"

"Um, kinda." She rolls her eyes. "Technically, my first name is Mary, but only my mom calls me that. I'm Alice."

I look at her, deciding that she looks more of an Alice than a Mary. She's a few inches shorter than me and is dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a simple white shirt that hangs from one of her shoulders. Her hair is styled in the sort of bob I only wish I could pull off, and she's wearing a minimum amount of makeup, with her features highlighted by a slight blush of red lipgloss.

"I know the feeling. I'm Bella."

She smiles and sits on the sofa. "I took the room on the right. I hope that's okay?"

I shrug. "Yeah, I've got no preference."

"Great! Well, I guess you want to get unpacked?"

I look to my case and groan. "Yeah, I suppose I should."

She giggles. "Yeah, I haven't even touched mine, yet. I was too excited! I mean, finally! After years of school, we're here! Now, I don't know how strict your parents are, but I'm just happy to be away from their watchful eyes! I can't wait for my first party!"

My hesitation must show on my face as she rushes to continue. "I don't mean it that way… I'm not a total party animal. But you know. It's college, right? So there's gonna be some partying…"

I can't help but laugh. "I got what you meant, Alice. Don't worry."

She sits on the couch and grins. "What do you say to leaving the unpacking until tomorrow? We can order take-out and get to know each other first?"

I smile. "Great idea."

Alice leaves with promises of returning soon with our dinner, and my stomach grumbles at the thought.

I decide to unpack a few things while I wait for Alice. I set out my pajamas on my bed for later and change into a pair of sweats and my favorite t-shirt. Leaving my suitcase on the floor, I go back to the main room to wait for Alice to come back.

I can't help but smile as I gaze around the room; my new home for the next year. For the first time in months, everything feels right. Nobody knows me here. They don't know anything about my past, and I don't have to face pitiful looks from everyone.

Here, I'm just Bella Swan, college student.

Not the Bella Swan with the cheating ex-boyfriend.

Not the Bella Swan whose best friend betrayed her in the worst possible way.

Not the Bella Swan who had to change college plans at the last moment because of the pregnancy rumors that flew around town.

I blink back tears as all the hurt and betrayal come flooding back, reminding me that while Alice seems great, I need to keep her at arm's length.

For now, at least.

An hour later, my mouth hurts from laughing so much, and my stomach feels full enough to burst. We've spent the last hour trading stories from high school, although I've let Alice do most of the talking.

She was everything I wasn't at school: head cheerleader, on the debate team, and prom queen. But while I hated the prom queen at my old school, I could already see there wasn't much to hate, if anything, about Alice. She didn't do things for the status of it all; she'd done it because she genuinely liked it. I had a feeling her super-strict parents also had something to do with it, but I didn't want to push things by asking her.

"So, what about you? I've rambled on for the last hour and hardly let you get a word in." She drops a half-eaten slice of pizza back in the box, pushing it away in disgust. "Ugh. I'm done!"

I mirror her actions and lean back in my seat. "There's not really much to tell. I didn't do half the things you did."

She grins. "Well, we can't all be as fabulous as me."

I chuckle. "I was on the paper, and that kinda took up a lot of my time. In the end, if I wasn't working, I was out with the people from the paper." I refrain from mentioning anything about my former best friend and boyfriend.

"That sounds fun. So, did any of them come here? Or did your friends stay back in Jacksonville?"

My smile falters. "Umm… They're all still back home." I stand quickly, clearing up our trash and effectively cutting off our conversation.

I put the boxes down next to the sink and turn so I'm leaning against the counter.

"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" She moves in her seat, the hesitation clear on her face.

I shake my head, covering my face with my hands. "No. It's me."

"You didn't leave on good terms?"

I chuckle softly. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Well…" she says softly. "It's a good thing you're here and they're back in Jacksonville, isn't it?"

_**Thank you for reading. I would love to know your thoughts.**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**Nineteen Canvasses**_** by Cars1 - **__Bella thinks she finally has it all together after a life altering accident, but when she meets Edward, a once successful artist who has lost his inspiration, everything she thought she knew changes. All Human. Rated M for a very good reason._


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys rock – seriously! Thank you for all the alerts, fav's and your kind words! You have no idea how happy this makes me.**

**Huge hugs to Nicffwhisperer for recommending this on TLS. The response this story has got has me in a bit of shock!**

**Thanks to my "team" aka the girls I couldn't do this without; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**Chapter 4**

_**Jacksonville**_

"_Oh, my God! Tell me everything!" she squeals, sitting on my bed._

"_What do you want to know?" I try to hide my grin, but I can't stop it. It just feels so damn good to smile._

"_Where did he take you? What did you do?"_

_I sit next to her on the bed, flopping back so I'm staring at the ceiling. "He took me to the beach. A beautiful spot just down from here, but hidden, so it was kinda private, you know?"_

_She nods, but no, she doesn't know. He's different with me than he is with anyone else. Only I get to see that side of him. "And?"_

"_He had a picnic. He said he made it himself, but the crusts were cut off the sandwiches, so I know his mom helped him."_

_She giggles, lying back on the bed next to me. "That's so cute."_

_I sigh. "I know. Anyone else, and it would be dorky. But him… It's just positively cute."_

"_So…" _

"_So what?"_

"_Bella," she moans. "Did he kiss you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_And?"_

"_And it was perfect."_

**Chicago**

We spend the next day unpacking and getting settled into the dorm. The conversation flows easily between us, and I start to think I've struck it lucky with Alice as a roommate. I'd worried for so long about having a crazy roommate and having a terrible first year, but aside from being on the chatty side, Alice seems cool enough.

The more she talks, the more I can see what we have in common. But there's always going to be that black cloud hanging over my shoulder that stops me from getting too close to her after having been burned badly this summer, I'd planned on keeping a distance from anyone I met. She seems to be eager for us to become good friends despite my hesitancy, and I just hope she's still waiting when I decide I'm ready.

We unpack quickly and put our own little stamp on the dorm, and soon it feels like home. One difference I notice between the two of us is our photos. While I only have one on my bedside table, which is of my mom and me, Alice has numerous photos of her friends and family from back home set around the dorm. While I may be eager to forget Jacksonville, she likes having reminders of her friends and family dotted around the place.

Thankfully, she doesn't comment on my lack of photos.

And her tact is something I'm definitely a fan of.

Classes begin the next day, and by lunchtime, I find myself overwhelmed with information, books, grades, exams, and essays. Whoever said first year was easy was a liar.

Still, at least it's going to make for an interesting year.

Once I finish my lunch, I make my way to the library in the hopes of getting a job for the semester. I'd managed to save enough cash to get me through the first few months of school—maybe until Christmas, if I'm lucky—so I'm hoping there are at least a few hours a week available.

The smell of old books hits me as soon as I open the door, and I smile at the familiarity. While everyone I know is out buying Kindles and e-readers, I've always stuck with actual books. There's something about the classic paperback that beats the new technology.

The place is practically empty, except for an older lady behind the desk.

"Can I help you?" She looks around my mom's age and smiles as I approach her.

"Um… maybe? I was actually wondering if there are any jobs available?"

"Oh, dear. You're just in time. One of my regular staff members can't do this semester, as she's away on placement, so you can take her shifts." She walks around from behind the counter and takes my hands in hers. I fidget uncomfortably, not used to the contact. "Now, I can't promise you a lot of hours, but I can promise you some regular hours. And I'll expect you turn up for all your shifts unless there's a good reason you can't. I know you students these days, and partying too hard isn't a good enough reason. You mess me around and you're out."

I nod. "Okay…"

"Mrs. Cope. I'm the head librarian and in charge here. What's your name, dear?"

"It's Bella. And I understand, Mrs. Cope. I won't mess you around. I had a job while I was at school, if you would like references."

She waves me off, scoffing. "Nonsense, I trust you. You look like one of the good ones, and I've been here so long, I can spot the ones that apply just to keep mommy and daddy happy."

She squeezes my hand as I giggle. "Now, come back into the office, and we'll get the paperwork started."

Just under an hour later, I'm Bella Swan, Library Advisor, contracted to work a minimum of ten hours per week. I'm happy with that, knowing at certain times I might be able to work more.

"So, you want to be a teacher?" Mrs. Cope asks as she walks me out.

"Yeah." I nod. "Kindergarten, hopefully."

"That sounds wonderful. I've been trying to introduce something on the weekends, when parents can bring their kids. I know this is a university library, but I know some students here have young ones. I think it would be easier if there was a kids' corner or something to help them out."

We stop at the door, and I turn to face her. "I think that's a great idea."

She shrugs. "It's maybe something we can look at when you've found your feet, dear."

"Sure, that sounds great." I pull my bag farther up my shoulder. "So, do I just come to find you on Saturday?"

"Oh, no, dear. You'll be working with Edward this weekend."

_**Yes I ended it there. Yes I am evil…**_

_**I know a lot of you are worried about cheating, and no I won't be writing about Bella or Edward being with anyone else. I'm a huge HEA fan so when it gets a little bit bumpy—which it will—please remember that and trust me. **_

_**Thoughts? Theories? You know I love them!**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**Terroir**_** by Thimbles - **__Isabella Swan uproots her life on a whim, moving halfway around the world in search of something more. Perhaps she will find what she's looking for in the neatly laid rows of Cullen Family Wines' Hunter Valley vineyard. Sometimes, it is the grafted vine that produces the more vigorous growth._


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all your alerts, fav's and reviews – your support continues to blow me away. I am trying to reply to all reviews, but they are coming in thick and fast and I'm struggling to keep up. I apologise!**

**Thanks to my "team" aka the girls I couldn't do this without; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**So, because I'm impatient and this is a short chapter I figured I would update slightly early… **

**Chapter 5**

_**Jacksonville**_

"_C'mon, babe…" His hands toy with the button on my jeans, and I catch his hand in mine, stopping him from popping it open. _

"_Stop… My mom's downstairs."_

"_So," he whispers, breathing heavily against my ear. "She won't come up here. She loves me. She trusts us." He wriggles his hand free and goes straight for the button again. _

_I shift under him, turning on my side so he can't reach inside, and I hear him groan in frustration. "Bella… I want you." He rolls me so I'm on my back, and he's between my legs again. His lips are on mine — heated, insistent, wanting. I can feel him hard against me, and I whimper as he thrusts against me. _

_His name falls from my lips in a breathless whisper. _

"_Yes, Bella. Can you feel that? I know you want me, too…"_

"_I do…" I moan. "I just need a little time."_

_He jerks away from me as if I've slapped him. "Time? Jesus Christ, Bella. It's been months, and the closest I've got to you is a little under-the-bra action. Not exactly enough to keep me interested." _

_He stands, straightening his clothes and rubbing his hands over his face. "Look, I didn't mean that."_

_I sit up and pull my legs close to my chest. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my chin on my knees. "I think you should leave." _

_He tries to catch my gaze, but I stare at a spot on the wall next to him. _

"_Bella, I—"_

"_Go."_

_He sighs but does as I say, closing the door quietly behind him. I listen as he heads downstairs and my mother says bye cheerfully. Like he's not been a total dick to her daughter upstairs. _

"_So what's holding you back?"_

"_I dunno… I mean, I want to, but…"_

"_But?"_

"_Does it hurt?"_

_She shrugs and takes a mouthful of popcorn. "The first time? Yeah. I mean, it's never gonna be good for us, you know? But after that, yeah, it is." She grins, and I wish I were as experienced as her. _

"_Do you regret sleeping with Riley?" Riley was the love of her life for a year. He moved here with his dad, who had decided to leave the Army. They had a fleeting romance, and she fell hook, line, and sinker. Her heart was broken when his dad met someone online and moved them both across the country to be with her. _

_She shook her head. "No. I mean, it wasn't earth-shattering, but he got better."_

"_Do you think you're gonna with…"_

_I nod. "Yeah."_

"_Is he still pushing you?"_

_I shake my head. "No, he's been really great. After I threw him out, we had a really good talk, and he apologized. I told him why I wanted to wait, and he promised he would. Now… I feel ready; I think I'm just scared about it hurting. But I love him, you know?"_

_She grins and nudges my shoulder. "Ooh, Bella! You're gonna lose your virginity."_

_I smile, thinking how excited he'll be when I tell him I have the house to myself this weekend. "Yeah," I say. "I am."_

**Chicago **

My first week in Chicago passes quickly, and I soon forget why I was so nervous. Alice and I fall into an easy routine, passing in hallways on the way to and from our classes and sometimes managing dinner together at night. I'll be the first to admit I was nervous about living with someone so… intense. But I think our opposite personalities actually complement each other well. My only hope is that this isn't the calm before the storm. I've had one friend fuck me over already. I don't need to have any additions to that list.

Friday night approaches and, with it, an invite to my first college party.

Alice is waiting by the front door when I arrive home, her petite frame buzzing with excitement. I dump my bag on the floor and watch her warily.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

She grins and takes a step closer to me. "I met a really cute guy today at lunch, and he invited me to some party that he's throwing with his roommates. They live just a few blocks away. So… do you want to go?"

"I dunno. I have my first shift at the library tomorrow…"

"Bella." She rolls her eyes at me and giggles. "Even if you do end up hungover, the library has to be the easiest place to work with one. It's a Saturday, and the first week back; nobody will even be there."

"Yeah… I suppose…" She does have a point. I'll probably be spending my day stacking shelves, listening to some nerd harp on about the rules and regulations of the place.

"Okay…" She grins, and I nudge her shoulder. "Wanna order pizza while I jump in the shower?"

She squeals—actually squeals—and although I swore in high school I hated girls who behaved like that, I can't help but laugh along with her. There's something refreshing about her carefree outlook on things.

"You're not gonna regret this, Bella." She runs into her room and then peeks her head back out. "This is the start of a great year. You wait and see. We're going to have so much fun!"

_**Thank you for reading! **_

_**So can everyone guess who will make an appearance at the party? Also, the ex is a total douche, we all agree on this yes? **_

_**I would love to know your thoughts. **_

_**Fic Rec: **_**Down Home**_** by MrsSpaceCowboy**__ - Sometimes, everything you're looking for ends up being right where you left it. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Still cannot get over the support for my story – thank you ALL so much!**

**I am trying to reply to all reviews, but they are coming in thick and fast and I'm struggling to keep up. I apologise!**

**Thanks to my "team" aka the girls I couldn't do this without; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**xXx**

**Chapter 6**

_**Jacksonville**_

"_Are we really going to this party tonight?" I watch my friend preen in front of the mirror. Curling the ends of her blonde hair and then applying some mascara. She has an effortless beauty that I've always been silently jealous of. _

_She shrugs. "Yeah, everyone's going. We can bail if it's lame."_

_I shrug. "Okay."_

_I pick up my phone and try calling him again. Straight to voicemail. Again. I try to ignore the dread seeping into my veins, but I can't. Since last week, he's been answering his phone less and less. _

"_You okay?"_

_I plant a fake smile on my face and look at her. "Sure. Just let me change, and then we can go."_

**xXx**

**Chicago**

Just over an hour later, we're both ready to go. Having not been to a college party before, we both settled on black skinny jeans with heels and smart tops. Mine's a red racerback, and Alice's is a strapless baby blue. Alice's short hair is pinned back away from her face, and I've decided to wear my hair straight for a change; something _he _hated.

Although I feel good, and Alice has repeatedly told me how red is "so my color," part of me can't help but remember all the things he used to tell me toward the end of our relationship.

His mean words cut to my core, and I so easily believed him. I changed for him; my hair, my outfits, and how I behaved. I cut off my friends, because he said he wanted to spend more time with me. He fed me lies about them, and I had no reason not to believe him. By the end of our relationship, it was too late. He was using his guilt to make me feel worse about the relationship, when really, everything was _his_ fault.

In the end, it was too late. I'd changed who I was and lost friendships because of it.

And it's something I vow to never do again.

**xXx**

Alice links arms with me as we head toward the party.

"What if he's not there?"

I roll my eyes. She's been nothing but a nervous mess since we left. "Alice, he lives here."

"Oh. Right."

I snort. "I've never known you to be so quiet. I definitely want to meet the guy who renders you speechless."

She slaps my arm playfully and giggles. "You just wait, Bella. He'll render you speechless as well."

The pulse of the music hits us as we approach a block of modern-looking apartments. The windows are open a few floors up, and we can hear voices and laughter as they float down the street.

Nerves settle deep in my stomach as we approach. My memories of parties aren't exactly happy ones, and I can only hope parties at college are a lot different than those that took place in high school.

Alice becomes even quieter, and she tightens her grip on my arm.

"So, what's your dream guy called?" I ask, trying to ease the nerves for both of us.

She smiles at me. "Jasper."

"And you met him…"

"At the cafeteria. He was messing around with his friends, and one of them shoved him into me. He bought me lunch as an apology and invited us to the party."

I'm impressed. "He sounds like a real gentleman."

She sighs. "He is. And Southern. His accent is so dreamy." She pauses and looks at me with a smile. "Bella, I swear it took all I had not to mount him in the line."

I giggle, pressing the buzzer on the door. Someone lets us in without asking who we are. Once inside, we follow the noise to the right apartment. My nerves take control, and I let Alice lead the way,falling in line behind her with my gaze locked on the ground. I take deep breaths, pushing the bad memories from my mind.

It doesn't take long for Alice to find her way. "Jasper?"

I look up to see a blond guy turn around with a huge smile on his face. "Darlin', you made it."

Alice drops my hand like it's on fire and steps into Jasper's embrace like it's the most natural thing in the world. My heart clenches as I watch them, jealous that it's so easy for her.

"Of course we did."

"We?"

"Oh, yeah." She turns in his arms, and I notice how they adjust their position so his arm is still around her shoulders. I have a feeling that my new friend isn't the only one who's smitten. "I brought my roommate, Bella. I hope that's okay?"

He smiles at me. "'Course. Nice to meet you, Bella. Can I get you ladies a drink?"

I decline while Alice takes a beer. Jasper hands her his beer while he takes a new cup from the keg.

I watch the two of them together, feeling that familiar twinge once again. _He_ broke me, and I refuse to let someone hold that kind of power over me again. But as Jasper innocently takes Alice's hand in his and she grins at him, I can't help but want that. I miss the butterflies when you meet a guy for the first time. I want knowing glances and innocent touches. And I want the excited feeling when you wonder if he's going to kiss you at the end of the date.

Loud, rumbling laughter breaks through my daydream, bringing me back to reality with a crash. That laughter is so familiar to me, I glance around the room making sure _he _hasn't actually arrived.

He hasn't of course, but that reminder is enough for me. He's the reason why I keep my heart closed off.

Needing some space, I excuse myself. I know I should be enjoying the party, and I still hate that memories of him plague my thoughts, affecting my college life.

I push my way through the crowd in the hopes of finding a quiet room. The first two are locked, which I'm assuming are the bedrooms, but I'm lucky with the next one. I turn, making sure nobody is behind me, and sneak inside, closing the door behind me.

The small room is blissfully quiet, and I lean against the door and close my eyes, enjoying the peace. While the party continues outside, I walk farther inside, taking in my surroundings.

It's a small room, clearly transformed into a study, but I like it. There's a small two-person sofa and a desk in the back corner. Next to it is a stand with sheet music on it, which has me all kinds of intrigued.

What captures my attention, though, is the back wall, which has been transformed into one large bookcase. I make a beeline for the books with a huge smile on my face. I trail my fingers down the spines as I greedily read the titles. Whoever owns this room has a vast taste in books, and my smile widens as I take in some of my favorites, although they barely look touched.

I crouch down to look at the lower shelves full of books about music. One particularly well-worn book sticks out, and I pull it for a deeper look—

"Are you lost?"

I yelp, caught unaware, and in my haste to stand, I lose my balance and land straight on my ass, knocking my head against the shelf in the process.

"_Shit." _ A pair of strong arms wrap around my body and help me stand. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I murmur, pulling out of the stranger's arms, absolutely mortified that I've fallen.

"What are you doing in here?"

"I'm sorry, I was… uh..." I trail off as I turn, and my gaze falls on a guy who takes my breath away.

He's tall, much taller than me, and he's watching me with a look of concern that makes my heart flutter. He's dressed casually, in a pair of light blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt that clings to his body in an appealing way. He doesn't seem to be overly muscled, but I still wouldn't complain about having those arms wrapped around me.

He runs a hand through his unkempt hair, and I watch the movement, wanting to mirror it.

"You're not hurt, are you? I didn't mean to scare you."

I wave him off and take a step back. "I'm fine. I was just startled."

"I thought you heard me."

I shrug. "When there's books involved, I kinda get lost in my own world."

He grins, and I decide I like it. It's real. Genuine. And I find myself smiling in return. "Me, too."

I begin to feel uncomfortable. As hot as this guy is, I didn't come to college to get burned again. I gesture behind me to the door. "I should…"

His smile falls. "Oh, sure."

I open the door, flinching as the noise of the party hits me.

_Chug! Chug! Chug!_

"Ugh," I moan. I'd been hoping I could escape this party before any form of chugging began.

"Or we could just stay in here?"

I gasp as the stranger stands behind me, his close proximity doing strange things to my body. I feel his warm breath on my ear and goosebumps cover my skin. His arms surround me as he leans forward, closing the door.

My body sings as he steps closer, bringing our bodies flush together.

"I'd really like you to stay in here with me," he whispers.

I nod, turning in his arms.

"I'd like that, too," I admit, looking down at the floor. There's something about this guy that has the walls I've built up crumbling to the ground.

His thumb finds my chin, and he tilts my head up so I'm forced to look at him. "Beautiful," he murmurs. The air around us zings with anticipation, and I lick my lips. He follows the movement with his stare, and for the first time in months, I have butterflies in my stomach.

And then he kisses me.

**xXx**

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**So, do you hate me for leaving it there?!**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**Stay**_** by JiffyKate -**__ It's like a switch has been flipped. I don't want this. I don't want to live like this . . . I'll forsake the whole world in exchange for one man. Dior Rob Contest Entry (one-shot)_


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for all your support with this story! **

**To the Guest Reviewers telling me I "should" be updating more often – I currently work 60 hours a week, so at the moment updating once a week is all I am doing. Also, these chapters are pre-written so no, I won't be making them longer. **

**Thanks to my "team" aka the girls I couldn't do this without; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**xXx**

**Chapter 7**

_**Jacksonville**_

_The liquid in my red cup smells disgusting, but I take a sip anyway, flinching as the alcohol burns my throat._

"_Ugh, what is this?"_

"_The Newton Special." Mike winks at me, and I repress a shudder. Just ew. _

"_Well, I'm gonna go and see if there's some cranberry I can put in this to make it more bearable."_

"_Hurry back, babe."_

_Apparently, Mike Newton still doesn't seem to care that I have a boyfriend. _

_The football players surround the beer keg as I push past them, looking for the soft drinks. They won the championship today—hence the party—and I'm surprised to see the majority of them still standing. _

_Once I've gotten rid of the "Newton Special," I fill my cup with juice and head outside. There's no way I'm going back in. _

_Thankfully, the back porch is empty, and I welcome the silence. My hair whips around in the cool wind, and I wrap my arms around my waist, pulling my jacket tighter. I pull out my phone, trying Jane's number again and cursing when it goes straight to voicemail. _

_Huffing, I try Alec's number, giving a little squeal when it now rings. _

"_C'mon… Answer…" I mumble, moving to the end of the porch as a group of girls come outside to smoke._

_His phone continues to ring, and I frown when I hear his Indiana Jones ringtone. _

_Outside. _

_Dread settles deep in my stomach as I follow the sound around the side of the house. I tread carefully, stumbling a few times, using my left hand against the side of the house to keep me upright. _

_Alec's phone keeps ringing, and I want to know what he's doing out here that's so important he can't answer me. Or maybe I don't want to know. _

_I hear them before I see them. _

_Sweet whispers. _

_Grunting. _

_Moaning. _

_I stay frozen, unable to look away as my boyfriend presses my best friend against the wall, his lips moving roughly against hers. I watch as he caresses her body, covering every inch, before pushing her dress up around her waist. _

"_We don't have long before she'll notice we're missing," he grunts as his fingers dip between her legs. "I need you again before we go back in."_

"_Yes. Here…" Her moans die off as he kisses her roughly again. _

_I feel like I could throw up. _

_Everything about the last few weeks slips into place. _

_Alec pulling away from me. _

_Jane being overly friendly… fake. _

_Both of them wanting to include the other in our activities. Now that I think about it, I've not been alone with either of them for about two weeks. And in that time, Alec hasn't once tried for sex. Now, it's all clear as day. _

_Guilt. _

_Both of them screwing around, cheating, hurting me in the worst way possible, and both of them too chicken shit to even tell me. _

_My bottom lip trembles, and I can feel the burning behind my eyes as tears threaten to fall. The cup falls from my hand, the liquid pooling at my feet. I barely even notice. I take a deep breath to calm myself, refusing to let them see how this affects me. _

_I clearly mean nothing to them; why should they see how much seeing this kills me? They obviously deserve the same courtesy as they've shown me. _

_With a newfound energy, I pick up some gravel from the ground and throw it at them. _

**xXx**

**Chicago **

Our kiss is soft but urgent, and I allow myself to forget the past year and become lost in these feelings. Someone wants me. This beautiful stranger wants to kiss _me_.

I stretch up on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck. I play with the hair there, tugging on it and pulling him toward me. He grunts, pushing me against the doorway. The wood feels cold and hard against my back, a stark contrast to his warm chest. I sigh against his mouth, just enjoying the feeling of someone holding me again.

Then, like a kick to the gut, the memories come flooding back.

Alec pushing Jane against the wall as he gets ready to fuck her with me standing just feet away.

Her moans as he touched her in ways he hadn't even touched me.

My heart sinking to my stomach when I realized that wasn't the first time.

I stiffen in the stranger's embrace, unravelling my arms from around his neck and pushing against his chest." His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath, and mine mirrors the movement. I can still feel the want in that kiss all the way down to my toes. He kisses my forehead as I grip his shirt, somehow unable to let him go.

"I'm sorry. That was extremely rude of me." He steps back and smiles, and I want to smile with him.

The butterflies I adore have gone and instead have been replaced with a sick feeling. I can't get close to this guy. It's too soon. I can't be with someone else while Alec and Jane's betrayal is so fresh. My shattered heart is still in pieces, and it's going to take more than one kiss to make me feel better.

"I… can't…" I whisper. "I'm sorry." I let go of his shirt, and he steps back.

"It was too much."

I nod. "Yes." I feel behind me, looking for the door handle. "I should go…"

"I'll walk you out—"

"No." I shake my head and turn around, pulling the door open. "I don't want you to walk me out."

I still, remembering the feel of his soft lips against mine before I leave the room.

As I close the door, I hear him sigh and softly whisper, "But I didn't even get your name."

**xXx**

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**Lots of revelations in this chapter… thoughts?**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**On the Double**_** by MasenVixen - **__It's Bella's first day on the job as a body double in the new Edward Masen film. First up? The sex scene...O/S for the Haiti Compilation._


	8. Chapter 8

**You guys rock — thank you. **

**Thanks to my "team" aka the girls I couldn't do this without; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**Chapter 8**

_**Jacksonville**_

_Gravel covers them like a light shower of rain. They jump apart with a gasp, their attention focusing straight on me._

_My best friend has the decency to look guilty as she sorts her dress, while Alec refuses to even look at me. _

"_Bella… I…"_

"_Don't," I snarl. "Just don't." I look between the two of them, hating that I failed to spot this. How could I be so stupid? _

"_How long?"_

"_Bella… Don't—"_

"_I. Said. How. Long?"_

"_Just a few weeks…"_

"_This was the first time, I swear…"_

_I look between the two of them, chuckling humorlessly. "C'mon. Get your story straight at least, guys. What is it? A few weeks or only a drunken fumble tonight?" _

_I blink back the tears that are forming. I refuse to let them know how much they've just broken my heart. My best friend, who I've known since kindergarten, and my boyfriend. Both of whom have the power to completely ruin me. _

_Memories of the previous weeks come rushing back to me, and I can't believe I haven't spotted their misdemeanors. Alec had pulled away from me the moment I gave him my virginity. No matter how many times he told me I was being silly, that of course he loved me, I could feel it. And like the dutiful girlfriend, I believed him. _

_I'd thought I could count on Jane. I spilled my heart to her over the last week. Crying when he pushed me away. Moaning when he said he was too busy or tired to see me. Yet, the whole time she kept his bed warm and no doubt laughed at me behind my back._

"_You lied to me." _

"_We didn't mean to," Jane whispers._

_Alec steps forward, but I hold my hand up to him. "It got out of hand."_

"_Yeah, I bet," I mutter. _

_Ignoring their pleas, I turn away and run toward the house. I don't want to listen to anything they have to say to me right now._

_Inside, the party is breaking up, and thankfully, everyone seems unaware of my life crumbling apart outside. _

"_Angela," I yell at one of the girls I share a few classes with, who's getting into her car. "Can I catch a ride?"_

**Chicago **

I'm awake before my alarm the following morning. The dorm is silent, a sign of students sleeping off their antics from the previous night. I'm jealous. I woke hours ago, my dreams haunted by green eyes and messy auburn hair. The intense look in his eyes before he kissed me. The want, the hunger I could feel in his touch as he held me. The hurt on his face as I pushed him away and told him not to follow me.

I toss and turn in my bed, trying to at least get another hour before giving up. The more I try to forget about it, the more I overthink things, and sleep falls further from my grasp.

Finally, the night gives way, and the sun slowly rises, casting a low light across my room. I turn on my side, looking at my alarm clock, knowing I can't have too long to go.

My alarm beeps only once before I silence it.

I moan, knowing I have to get up and face the real world. Getting a job seemed like such a good idea at the start of the week, but now I'm jealous of my peers who get to spend their Saturday morning lazing in bed.

The library is quiet and has a ghost town feel to it when I arrive. I remember my instructions from Mrs. Cope and ask for Edward when I get to the front desk.

"He's stocking the shelves in the Lit section. Go to the back and turn left. You should find him."

I smile. "Thanks…"

"Ben. I'm Ben." He smiles nervously and then turns his back to me, effectively dismissing me.

The smell of books surround me as I search for the elusive Edward, but I find the aisle that Ben was talking about soon enough. Like the rest of the library, this aisle is empty, except for a lone figure on a ladder at the end opposite me.

"Hello?"

He doesn't even look at me. "Can you bring me those books?"

I pick up the few books resting on the cart next to me and take them to Edward. The quiet hidden corner of the library is dimly lit, but the bright morning breaking through the large windows casts a halo-like glow over him, and I squint as I approach. "I'm Bella. I'm not sure if Mrs. Cope told you about me, but I start today. She told me to ask for you." I ramble, not knowing how else to fill the silence. He barely looks at me, focusing only on the books in his hands. "Anyway, it's Saturday, so here I am," I say overly cheerful.

_Here I am? Ugh._ I roll my eyes at my incapacity to sound like a normal functioning human.

He sighs, puts the last book in the shelf, and steps down the ladder. Step by step, I gaze at his form, appreciating the way his muscles move under his tight t-shirt. He jumps, skipping the last step, and turns to face me.

He smirks, stepping forward and out of the way of the sunlight. He takes the books from me, his fingers brushing, lingering, against mine, and I gasp when I can fully see him.

His bright green eyes, dancing with mirth.

His crazy hair, although a little tamed for work.

His dazzling grin.

"So, she does have a name," he murmurs. "Bella." He clears his throat. "I knew I'd see you again. I'm Edward."

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**Ordinary Girl**_** by SparklyMeg - **__Comfortable. Safe. Protected. Ordinary. This way no one can break her again. He's a beautiful stranger in a bar who is determined to be let in._


	9. Chapter 9

**You guys continue to rock my world — thank you. **

**Thanks to my "team" aka the girls I couldn't do this without; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**xXx**

**Chapter 9**

_**Jacksonville**_

_School sucks. _

_Both Alec and Jane try to talk to me in the parking lot. Their united front cuts like a knife to the heart. Their betrayal feels worse, knowing it's obviously been going on for so long and I was too dumb to notice. Facing whispers and pitied stares now feels even worse than I thought, and walking with my head held high feels tougher as each minute passes. Thankfully, I barely take two steps when Angela Webber appears next to me, links her arm with mine, and walks me inside. She doesn't even say anything, just smiles softly, and for that reason alone, I feel like I could hug her. _

_The party is the talk of the school, and I'm this week's hot gossip. Conversation stops whenever I pass a group of people, and I know the events of the weekend are passing down the hallways like a game of Telephone. _

_By lunchtime, I've had enough. I grab an apple from the cafeteria and go to hide out in the library. _

_My plans change quickly when Jane comes out of the bathrooms I pass on the way there. _

"_Bella…"_

_I carry on walking. _

"_Bella, please wait."_

_I spin on my heel and refrain from giving her the slap she deserves. "What?"_

"_Can we go somewhere to talk?"_

"_You're kidding, right?"_

"_I just wanted to apologize—"_

"_Apology__** not **__accepted."_

_She tries to talk, and I cut her off. "You don't get to apologize to me. You lied to me… You hurt me in the worst way possible. I confided in you. I told you how much I loved Alec, how I could feel him pulling away after we had sex, and you… You told me I was just being stupid." I take in a shaky breath. "The whole time you were sleeping with him. How could you do that to me?" _

_Tears fill my eyes, and I furiously blink them back. Crying in school is not an option. _

_She reaches out to me, and I instinctively step back. _

"_I'm sorry…" Tears fall down her face, her mascara leaving faint black trails in their wake. "I'll always be so sorry about this. I never meant to hurt you."_

"_Well, you did."_

**xXx**

**Chicago **

My head spins as I try to process everything Edward has to tell me about my job. Thankfully, there's nothing too challenging, as my mind is thrown back to last night and the fact that my beautiful stranger is now my co-worker.

My stomach tingles just thinking about his lips against mine. The way he held me as if I were his most prized possession makes my heart warm—and ache—for that sort of feeling again.

I watch him as we move around the library floor. He walks with confidence, yet without the cocky swagger that most college guys seem to inherit in their first week. I lock my gaze with the hint of ink that peeks out from below his left sleeve, and I lick my lips. I want to follow that trail and see where it takes me.

"Bella?"

I shake my head. Right. Focus.

"Sorry. I was distracted. What were you saying?"

He smirks as if he knows where my mind went but schools his features quickly. "I have to do some paperwork for Mrs. Cope. Can you stay out the front and scan the books as they come in? Students have a drop-box for returned books that should be ready to empty by now. After that, they'll need to go back on the shelves."

"Right. Yeah, of course."

He makes sure I have everything I need and then disappears for the remainder of the day. I dutifully man the desk, methodically emptying the drop-box every hour and smiling at every person who walks in, resisting the urge to flip open a book and start reading. Instead, I spend any free time trying to figure out the ins and outs of the software, getting caught up as soon as possible. A few of my classmates come in, but it's not as awkward as I thought it would be.

By the end of my first shift, I can confidently say I understand the basics of the circulation desk, and I'm confident that I can juggle this job and my schoolwork.

Edward reappears out of nowhere after the last person has left and locks the door behind them. I smile nervously as our gazes meet, ignoring the flutters that cause my heart to race.

"Can I do anything to help?" I feel useless as he goes through what is obviously a nightly routine as the library closes.

He shakes his head. "No, I've got this."

I leave him as he steps behind the desk. His body is flush against mine for mere seconds, but it's enough. Every inch of my body is alive, and I want to be back in his arms again.

"Sorry," I murmur as I make my escape. No good can come from these kind of feelings, and I need to put as much space between us as possible.

I grab my backpack before signing out, and wait by the doors for Edward to finish and let me out. The tension between us is palpable, and I shift on my feet. I hate feeling so anxious, and I want out of here before I do something I really want to but know I'll regret.

If Edward senses my unease, he doesn't show it. He approaches me with a confident walk and a smile that lights up his whole face.

"You've done well for your first shift."

I take a step back. "Thanks."

It's awkward, and I hate it. I just want him to open the door and let me out.

"When are you next in?" He stands on his tiptoes, unlocking the bolt on the top of the door. I automatically drop my gaze to the sliver of skin now free as his shirt moves up. My fingers twitch with a need to touch him.

"Um…" I clear my throat. "Next Friday afternoon, I think. Mrs. Cope said she would confirm after speaking with you, making sure I was okay to come back."

The bolt on the lock coming free echoes in the empty room. He picks up his bag and opens the door, gesturing for me to go first. "Oh, Bella." He chuckles. "I definitely want you to come back."

I take a deep breath as soon as the cool air hits me, and I already feel better. Being in such close proximity to someone like Edward is playing with my emotions.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around?" I don't give him time to answer before I start walking away.

"Bella." He grasps my wrists and pulls me closer. "I'd like to see you again before next week." His words are quiet but confident.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," I say quietly. I don't turn around, too scared to see any form of disappointment on his face.

"But… Last night… Our kiss… I thought…" He clears his throat and moves to stand in front of me. I keep staring at the ground before finally looking up at him.

He smiles softly. "Just coffee?"

My mind screams at me to say yes.

My heart still feels trampled and broken.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

His beautiful smile fades. I step past him and all but run home.

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**A Little Too Much Too Late**_** by MrsK81 - **__Having spent years waiting for her Mr. Right, Bella is finally getting the wedding of her dreams & a job opportunity of a lifetime. But life is never that simple & soon she is in way over her head._


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm trying really hard not to sound like a broken record, but thank you! Each alert, favorite and review makes me smile!**

**Thanks to the girls for their help and support; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**xXx**

**Chapter 10**

_**Jacksonville**_

_I make it to the end of the school year without too much drama. Angela becomes my closest friend, but I still keep her at arm's length. I'm still scarred, the wounds still so fresh from Jane's betrayal, which prevents me from getting close to anyone else. _

_What hurts the most is Alec and Jane's united front. I feel like I'm going through this humiliation alone, while they have each other to lean on. They arrive at school together, sit together at lunch, and then leave together in Alec's beat-up truck. _

_About a week after the party, the scandal's forgotten. Everyone—including those two—moves on with their lives. _

_Everyone except me. _

_Now, with the end of school upon us, I'm faced with a dilemma. I had chosen to stay in Florida so I could be closer to Alec — a choice I'm now kicking myself for. I need a change of scenery. I want out. Away from all these people. A new start, where nobody will know my history. _

_Without school to keep me entertained, I find myself left with my thoughts a lot more. Today, I wallow in bed for a little longer than I have been, then finally leave my room and head to the kitchen. I know that if I don't, Mom will soon be up and dragging me downstairs. _

"_Morning, Mom." She turns as I enter the room and smiles softly. She opens her arms to me, and I go willingly. _

_She hugs me tightly. "Go sit." She points to the table before plating up my breakfast. Pancakes with peanut butter; my favorite. _

"_Seems like a nice day out. Not too humid."_

"_Mm-hmm…" _

_She sits down opposite me. "Do you have plans with anyone today?"_

_I roll my eyes. "No. I'm not seeing Jane or Alec today." Mom is of the opinion that there must be more to the story than meets the eye. Me, I see shit for what it really is. _

"_So, what's the plan for today, then? We could go to the beach?"_

_I shake my head and push my plate forward. "Thanks for that." I point to my empty plate. "I was… uh… I was thinking of doing a little research on schools."_

_My mom's face drops, and I feel bad for hitting her with a curveball like this. "Schools? But you've already accepted Jacksonville." _

"_I can't." I stand up, my chair scraping against the floor. "I can't stay here. It's bad enough walking around school with those two. Do you know they're __**both**__ going to the same college as me?"_

"_It's a big place and a lot different from high school. You'll see them at some point, but it will get better."_

_Tears fill my eyes, and I can feel my lip quivering. "I… I don't want to, Mom. They… I… Just… It hurts." A sob breaks free, and I quickly find myself in her arms. "It hurts so much, and I hate that it hurts… I want to… I want to hate them…" _

_My sobs cut off my rambling, and I let my mom comfort me. Her arms tighten around me as she lets me cry, and I let everything that I've been holding in for the past few weeks out._

**xXx**

**Chicago **

The following Friday finds me standing outside the library with sweaty palms and a pounding heart. I received a phone call early in the week from an excited Mrs. Cope, who had received a positive call from Edward first thing on Monday morning. She was very excited that I fit in so well and was glad to officially welcome me to the team.

"C'mon, Bella," I murmur, pushing open the large doors.

As predicted, the library is quiet. It's six o'clock on a Friday night, and most students with any sense of a social life are out hitting any one of the parties on campus. Some of the computers are taken, but even without looking, my guess is the students are on social media sites instead of using them for research.

I head straight for the staff room, signing in and dropping my bag off. I smooth my hair, pick at imaginary fluff on my skirt and go toward the front desk. Nerves flutter fast and furious deep in my stomach at the thought of being close to Edward again.

Mrs. Cope is with a student who is checking out some seriously heavy books, so I wait at the side until she's finished.

"Bella, so nice to see you again." She takes both my hands in hers, and I can't help but smile. There's something grandmotherly about this woman that I just can't help but like.

"You, too, Mrs. Cope. Thank you for letting me come back again."

She waves a hand in front of her face. "Of course, sweetheart. I had no choice after Edward's report. He can be very persuasive when he wants to be, you know."

I see the gleam in her eyes, and I know exactly what she means. Instead of answering, I just smile and ask where she needs me to be tonight.

She guides me over to a pile of books. "I'm afraid nobody got around to these earlier, and they've just piled up. Could you put them back on the shelves?"

"Sure."

"It should be clear where they go, dear. But if you struggle, just come and ask. I'll be by the desk, and I think Edward is in the back somewhere."

I try to calm the flutters in my heart at the mention of his name and pray that, for some reason, I get lost in the back of the library.

**xXx**

"Bella? Mrs. Cope wants you back at the desk. I'm going to continue shelving the books for you." Kate, one of the other advisers, approaches and takes the books from me.

"Oh. Did she say why?"

"No, just that she wanted to see you."

Mrs. Cope's enthusiastic tone greets me as I approach, and as the desk comes into sight, I can't help but smile. Both Edward and Mrs. Cope are leaning over the desk, their attention solely focused on some paperwork in front of them.

Although there are two of them, my attention is on the handsome man who is unknowingly warming my broken heart.

"Edward, I really think this is something we can finally pull off. I know you and Bella will do a great job together."

I clear my throat at the mention of my name. _Together?_

Edward looks up, grinning when he sees me. I try not to let it affect me.

I fail.

"Bella," he murmurs, stepping around the desk.

"Edward," I say softly, before turning my attention to Mrs. Cope. "You wanted to see me?"

I try to focus on everything Mrs. Cope says but fail miserably. Edward's close proximity sends me into a tailspin, and all I can focus on is the way his fingers brush mine once too often to be accidental.

"Bella?"

I clear my throat and step away from Edward, feeling the loss instantly.

"I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

"The children's group, dear? Does it sound like something you would be interested in?"

I vaguely remember Mrs. Cope mentioning a reading group for young children when I applied for the job, and I think it sounds perfect.

"I would love to, Mrs. Cope."

She beams. "That's great. I'm sure between the two of you, this will be such a good thing for the library." She claps her hands and glances between Edward and me.

My heart speeds up. "The two of us?"

"Oh, don't look so worried, Bella." She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it softly. "I'll be here if you need me, but I think you and Edward will do a great job together."

**xXx**

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**Glass House**_** by Livie79 - **__Edward and Bella had it all, but one night changed everything. How will they survive when it all comes crashing down? Love, lies, loss...life. This is that stor_y.


	11. Chapter 11

**As always – thank you!**

**Thanks to the girls for their help and support; ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**xXx**

**Chapter 11**

_**Jacksonville**_

"_Order up!" _

_The bell chimes, and like a robot, I collect the plates from the counter and sit them down in front of the two old guys in my section. They smile and thank me, and I know I at least have a small tip from them. _

_The diner is quiet now, and I'm taking advantage of the peace and quiet before the crowds come pouring in. It's game day, which means in around an hour, the place is going to be packed to the seams._

Game day used to scare the shit out of me. Now I see it as a chance to double my tips.

"Liam, I'm taking thirty," I yell to my boss before heading out the back. He grumbles but doesn't say anything, knowing I'll make it up over the next few hours. 

_Outside, I take a seat on the wall and enjoy the peace and quiet. _

_My summer didn't turn out the way I expected. Instead of shopping with my friends and enjoying barbecues on the beach, I applied for a late transfer to college and spent all my spare time working and saving as much as I could. Now, with college being in Chicago, I'm faced with new money issues, such as rent and bills — things I hadn't even considered for school in Jacksonville. _

"_Ms. Swan, get your cute little behind in here. The crowd's starting!" I roll my eyes and finish the rest of my water before heading inside. _

_In the thirty or so minutes that I've been outside, the diner's transformed. Every booth is now almost full, with people standing at the bar, ready to jump into the first empty seats that become available._

"_Keep your section. I'll send Jessica over to help you out as soon as she arrives." _

_**xXx**_

_My feet are aching and my hair is falling out from the ponytail that's keeping it from my face, but I'm still smiling. The last two hours have been intense, but I achieved my goal and managed to double my tips. _

_One by one, the booths empty and things get back to normal. _

_It's not until I'm clearing one of the tables when I hear them. _

_They're with a group of friends from school, laughing and joking as if they didn't break my heart a few months ago. I glance up just in time to see Jane lean into Alec, who wraps his arm around her shoulders. _

_Their matching grins don't go unnoticed, and as they share a discreet kiss, I feel my heart begin to crack again. I remember when that smile was saved for me and our kisses would drown out everyone around us. _

_There was a time when my world revolved around him - both of them, really. Since the party, that space has been left empty. Void. And I was in no rush to fill it or ever feel that kind of pain again. _

_Before they can notice me staring like a complete loner, I turn and run in the opposite direction to the ladies' bathroom._

"Jess, cover for me, please," I mumble, passing the dishes to her as I make my escape. 

_I shove the door open and hide in the first stall. I lean against the back of the door, taking a few deep breaths and enjoying the cool feel of the metal against my forehead. Since school ended, I've been dealing with everything much better, but getting caught unaware has floored me. _

"_C'mon, Bella. You're better than this." My hands are on the lock when I hear the bathroom door open. Two familiar voices stop me from unlocking the stall. Instead I quietly step back, pull the lid down, sit on the toilet and lift my feet. _

_The one thing worse than hiding out in the bathroom is getting caught doing it. _

"_So, what are you going to do? Does he know? Have you told him?" The door has barely closed behind them before I hear Kate, Jane's sidekick. She's Alec's twin and can be found constantly glued to Jane's side. _

"_Breathe, Kate." The water runs, and I refrain from leaning forward to hear better. "I don't know for sure yet. I'm just a few days late."_

_My heart drops to my stomach. They can't mean… _

"_I thought you were on birth control?"_

_She sighs. "I am. I guess I've just not been as careful as I thought."_

_The room falls silent, and all I can hear are Jane's sniffles. "What am I going to do? He'll freak. I know he will."_

_Kate jumps in to soothe her, and I can almost imagine her arms wrapped around her to offer some comfort. Just like I would have at one point. "Just be honest. He loves you, Jane."_

"_I know. But this is a huge deal. We have college, and it's not going to be easy with a… baby." She whispers the last word, and as my worst fears are confirmed, I can't stop the tears from falling. I cover my mouth with my hands, praying they leave before I fall apart. _

"_Where are you…?" _

_I silently curse as my bad luck continues when Jessica comes barging in. The two girls gasp in surprise, and I quickly pull myself together, knowing I have moments before I'm outed. _

"_Bella? You still in here?"_

"_C'mon," I murmur to myself, opening the door. _

"_I'm here."_

"_You look a little pale. Are you okay?" _

_Kate and Jane both step to the side as I wash my hands, refusing to look at them. _

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Just feeling a little off."_

_She walks over to me, putting her hand against my forehead. I close my eyes and a small tear escapes. _

"_You sure? Do you need to go home?"_

_I discreetly wipe under my eyes and smile softly. "No. I'm good."_

_I look in the mirror and catch Jane's gaze. The look on her face is priceless, and I know one day I'll look back on this moment and laugh about it. _

_She offers me a small smile. _

_I turn my back on her — the way she did with me a few months ago — and leave the bathroom without a word. _

**Chicago **

"I won't bite, you know."

"I know."

"So why are you sitting so far away?"

I shift uncomfortably. "I'm not."

He shrugs, but I still see the hurt look. "Okay."

He passes me some papers and explains how he and Mrs. Cope have been looking at launching a sort of daycare-style club for students who have young kids and struggle paying someone to look after them. The idea is two or three days a week, someone from the library will read to, play with, and generally entertain the children so their parents can study without interruption.

"And Mrs. Cope wants both of us to work on this? Together?"

He frowns and lowers his head. "Is that a problem?"

I shake my head and clasp my hands in front of me. "No. I think it's a great idea."

"So, it's just me you don't want to work with, then?"

I sigh. "Edward, I…"

"Look." He sits back in his seat. Our gazes meet before he looks away, focusing on something over my shoulder. "I know this could be real awkward. We kissed, I asked you out, and you turned me down. If anyone should be dreading this project it's me. But I'm willing to forget about it and get on with it if you are."

This is the first time either of us have mentioned the kiss we shared, and my body tingles at the memory. It's been so long since a guy affected me in such a way. I'd only met him minutes before, yet he'd had my heart pounding faster than Alec ever did.

As I stare at the handsome man opposite me, I wonder if I'm making the right decision. There's clearly something between us. My only question is will he wait until I'm ready?

I smile and move my chair closer to him, closing the huge gap between us. It's small, but it's something. My gaze meets his again, and I smile softly. "Friends?"

His answering grin knocks me breathless. "It's a start."

_**xXx**_

_**So we have progress… **_

_**Thank you for reading!**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**Rescission**_** by GeekChic12 - **__We met. We got off. We went home. We weren't lovers. We weren't even friends. We were f- buddies. It worked... Until it didn't. AH, ExB. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you all! Your alerts, fav's and reviews continue to put a smile on my face!**

**Thanks as always to ****Pattinlethr, SparklyMeg, Iklepixie, Everydaybella, Cruiz Fanfiction, Mariahajile & Marly580.**

**So now we all know what happened in Bella's past. Alec is a douche, and Jane makes a crappy best friend. Safe to say we agree Bella's better off without?**

**Okay, no more flashbacks from now on. From here on out, we're in Edward's territory. **

**Chapter 12**

Edward Cullen becomes a constant fixture in my life following the declaration of our "friends only" relationship status.

With things out in the open between us, I feel like I can relax a lot more in his presence. I still catch him stealing glances when he thinks I'm not looking. My stomach flips at every smile and innocent brush of the fingers, but I'm still not ready to pursue anything more with him.

Yet.

Instead, I take each day as it comes and look forward to my shifts at the library. Both Edward and I spoke to Mrs. Cope about our plans for the daycare, and she was over the moon. Our plans were approved, so we're both currently working toward a launch date in a few weeks' time. We manage to get a lot done during our working hours, but it's never enough.

"Bella?"

I place the last book on the shelf and turn to face Edward. I've been stuck in the back stocking the shelves for my entire shift, so this is the first time I've seen him today. His bright smile causes a familiar flutter in my stomach.

"Is something wrong?"

His smile fades. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Always assume something's wrong?"

"Oh." I shrug. "I wasn't aware I did. Anyway, what's up?"

"I've been thinking about our project, and I was kind of hoping we'd be further along with the plans by now."

I frown. "I know. But I can't afford to up my hours any more—"

He cuts me off. "I know. I… uh… I think we should meet up outside of work. There's too many distractions here, and I'm worried we won't be completely ready."

"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense."

"So… I'm gonna need your number…" He holds up his cell and passes it to me.

I smile at the idea of him having my number. I like it much more than I should.

Trying to hold back the growing smile on my face, I enter my number quickly and pass the phone back to him.

He grins, holding it up in front of him. I catch onto his plan too late, and before I can turn my face away, I hear the telltale sign of the camera.

"You took a photo?" I'm horrified. I have the bare minimum make-up on, and I'm pretty sure my hair makes me look like I've been dragged through a bush backwards.

He has the courtesy to at least look sheepish. "I like to have them for my contacts." He passes the phone back to me. "Do you want me to delete it?"

I glance at the photo and realize I don't look as awful as I think I do. "No, it's okay. Leave it."

"You sure?"

I nod. "'Course. Just warn a girl next time, okay?"

He steps closer to me, smiling softly. "Next time?"

_Are we flirting?_

Instead of stepping back from him, I step forward, bringing us closer together. He gulps but keeps his gaze on me. "Yes, next time. A girl always wants to look her best."

"Oh, Bella," he murmurs as he steps closer, effectively closing the gap between us. His chest is flush against mine, and I'm sure he can feel the pounding of my heart. I gasp when he leans forward, and for a second, I think he's going to kiss me.

"You always look beautiful," he whispers, before turning and walking in the direction he came in.

"So he didn't kiss you?"

"No."

"But you wanted him to?"

"Yes. No… Ugh. I don't know."

It's Friday afternoon, and Alice and I are in the Starbucks around the corner from the library. After my run-in with Edward, I called her, asking to meet me after my shift ended. I miss having a girlfriend to chat with, and she's assured me on numerous occasions that she's a great listener.

"I gotta admit, Bella. I'm confused."

"So am I."

"Why, though?" She leans forward, her elbows on the table and her chin resting on her hands. "Did something happen at home?"

I lean back in my chair, avoiding her gaze. "Yes."

"A guy?"

My heart stutters as an image of Alec and Jane flashes through my mind. "Yes."

"Do we need Patron for this discussion?"

I grin. "Hell, yes."

Several hours later, Alice and I share a large Domino's Pizza and a bottle of Mexico's finest while I tell her all the gory details about Alec and Jane.

I thought I would hate reliving what happened, but once I start talking, I can't stop. Every repressed memory comes rushing forward. I relive all the heartbreak and anguish as I fill in Alice on what I remember to be some of the worst months of my life.

Ever since I saw Alec and Jane together, I've not spoken about it properly. Although I had Angela and my mother, I never really told them everything. I would spend hours in my room, listening to music and crying, and then plaster my perfect fake smile on so they couldn't see how hurt I really was. What I really missed was having a girlfriend, someone who would listen to me bitch and offer unconditional support and a shoulder to cry on.

Something Jane should have been.

Something Alice is becoming.

Alice doesn't try to stop me talking. She sits next to me with my hand in hers, listening as I tell her every soul-destroying detail. I don't linger on the night of the party, the hurt still too much for me to think about.

When I finish my story, she completely catches me off guard, causing my tears to turn into a light fit of the giggles.

"Well, fuck me sideways." Alice hands me another shot, which I take gratefully. The alcohol burns on the way down, and I welcome the numbness. "No wonder you're wary around Edward."

"You're not going to tell me I'm just being stupid and that not all men are the same?"

"Hell, no. Alec sounds like a complete snake in the grass, and he hurt you. If that were me, I wouldn't be rushing into anything, either."

I smile and lean into her, resting my head on her shoulder.

"Although, I really don't think all men are the same. I know I haven't met him, but from what you've said, he _does_ sound a lot different from Alec. I think it might be worth taking the risk."

I nod. "Yeah…"

"Are you wary about me?" she almost whispers, and I can hear the hurt in her voice.

"I don't want to be."

She puts her arm around me and hugs me tightly. "I would never do that to anyone."

I don't say anything, because I can't. I want to believe her, and I think deep down, I do. But I'd known Jane for years, and she still managed to convince me she was my best friend.

"I'll get over it. All I need is time." I bump her shoulder. "And you bought me tequila. You're already a better friend than Jane."

She giggles, bumping my shoulder back. "We're good?"

I sigh. "Yeah."

We clear our stuff and settle back down to watch some movies. I like that although Alice knows about my past, we don't linger on it. She knows what she needs to know, but seems more focused on going forward.

About halfway through the second film, my phone vibrates and Alice grins. "I bet that's him."

"What do you think he wants?"

She rolls her eyes. "Check it and tell me."

I grin as I read his message. "He wants to meet up on Monday."

_**So… Thoughts?**_

_**Fic Rec: **_**California Dreamin' **_**by Chocaholic123 - **__1967. Summer stalked in like a lion that year, fierce and angry; looking for someone to eat. Among the hippies, free love and Vietnam, we were forced to grow up, whether we wanted to or not_


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